Delusions
by Simply Kim
Summary: what if a person’s state of mind is that in which he or she sees something that not every person does? Could said object seen be real? Atobe Keigo would say no, but this isn't always the case...
1. Part 00 : Zero

**TITLE:** Delusions

**PART:** Zero

**GENRE:** Yaoi (Alternate Universe/Psychological/Angst/Drama)

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**PAIRING:** Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu

**FANDOM: **Tennis no Oujisama

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything except this... (Piece of crap?) fic. ;

**NOTE #1:** **Blah **or **_Blah _**is for emphasis. **_/Blah/_ **is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**ZERO**

* * *

Reality is defined as something that possesses actuality, existence or essence... something that exists objectively. The norm is, that if something isn't tangible, it is highly probable that it is not part of reality – it is not real.

However, what if a person's state of mind is that in which he or she sees something that not every person does? Could said object seen be real?

What about children? Most between ages five to around eight have 'exclusive friends', creatures that do not seem to fit into a sane matured person's reality... Does it mean that they are just fictitious beings?

How about grown men seeing things only they know of?

Does it imply madness?

It is an established fact that reality is something that is most often tangible, if not, something that is seen, felt, concretised. However, when one thinks hard enough, aren't mere ideas dancing inside one's head something seen, felt and concretised?

**Couldn't they be figments of reality as well?**

* * *

**TSUZUKU**

* * *


	2. Part 01 : Call of the Unconscious

**TITLE:** Delusions

**PART:** One of Three

**GENRE:** Yaoi (Alternate Universe/Psychological/Angst/Drama)

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**PAIRING:** Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu

**FANDOM: **Tennis no Oujisama

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the stuff, characters and series mentioned here, except this... (Piece of crap?) story. ; 

**NOTE #1:** **Blah **or **_Blah _**is for emphasis. **_/Blah/_ **is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**PART ONE: CALL OF THE UNCONSCIOUS**

* * *

Atobe Keigo graduated at the prestigious University of Hyoutei. He had been part of the institution's infamous escalator program ever since his elementary school days. He excelled in his field and made his parents very proud. 

Now, he was twenty-four years old, the head of a very successful multi-million-dollar company his family owned together with several minor stockholders. He was both loved and hated, first by people who admired him and his capabilities, the other by those he turned down – people who hated the guts of his clan.

He belonged in a tightly knit group of friends, all of who were quite settled in their respective domains. It was expected of someone with his calibre after all. And they didn't hold back when they were with him, a refreshing break from the stiff formalities he had to endure day after every single day while at work. They made him feel at ease, but not so much so that they made him open up.

It was true that he was flamboyant when it came to projecting his talents in front of snapping cameras and varying interviews, but he never revealed anything deeper than what was skin-deep. He too, like many had a private side to him... and only a choice few knew that. But then again, they did not know the whole thing.

He felt it was better that way.

Fewer confrontations... less hassles.

**R.E.A.L.I.S.V.E.R.I.F.I.A.B.L.E**

"Would you please throw away that infernal Orange Range cd?"

Mukahi Gakuto, self-proclaimed _**housewife**_, sniffed haughtily, crossing his arms across his chest in a show of defiance. "And what, may I ask, is wrong with Orange Range?"

"They sound really kooky, that's why." Atobe, his current verbal sparring partner retorted just as haughtily. "They cater to commoners."

Oshitari Yuushi, the anointed _**husband**_, sighed, sitting next to his partner, giving a quick peck on the lips and slinging a protective arm around the redhead's shoulders. "Just a matter of preference, you two." He admonished tiredly. He had seen lots of bouts like this ever since they got together as a group in their elementary school days. "Gakuto, you can't make everyone like your music, and Atobe, for heaven's sakes, we are normal young people, we don't listen to Italian operas like you do."

"That's exactly why I said it's for commoners."

"I hate you."

"Ore-sama knows you do, Mukahi-_kun_."

"Why you –"

"Gah, I'm really worried about my little Akira..."

All were silent upon the sudden intrusion to another of their infamous arguments. They instantly turned to the farthest couch and therein erupted an almost inaudible collective sigh. Akutagawa Jirou, for the umpteenth time, was moaning, spurred on by depression his only daughter caused. He was returning to the Australian outback to create a documentary about kangaroos for a world-renowned animal channel in which he was a regular of along with his colleague Kaidoh Kaoru, and it seemed his four year old daughter thought he should quit and just babysit her all day, everyday.

"Akira-chan just misses you!" Mukahi Gakuto retorted, breaking Oshitari's hold on him gently and crossing over, bashing his depressed head with a recent copy of _Reader's Digest_. "Because you don't play with her much. It's either you skip town or you sleep the day away, you narcoleptic!"

"Ow." Even in his depressed state, Akutagawa still gave him a sheepish smile. "It's not my fault anyway, I think Yumi-chan influenced her to let me stay home this time."

"The 'cling-to-dad-and-whine' tactic, huh?"

"Uh-huh." The woeful father nodded.

Oshitari's lips quirked in a semblance of an amused smile. "That's what you get for falling in love and marrying Fuji Yumiko." He mused. "Fuji Syusuke is already scary, and then you have to go marry the older sister." His eyes sparkled good-naturedly. "And you even gave her the opportunity to name your firstborn. I sure am glad it's not a boy or he'd be carrying a girl's name."

The conservationist grinned. "I think it's cute that she named our first kid with a boy's name! Akira is strong and firm, and I'm hoping she'd be way cooler than her dad when he was her age!" He made a show of his over-enthusiastic face again.

Atobe shook his head and sniffed. "That's why you never defeated me in tennis."

"Atobe, that is so not true! Remember that time when Shishido cut his hair? I won that game!"

The man in question started laughing. "Point, Keigo." Shishido Ryo made a toast with his canned rootbeer, which was touched by another soda can courtesy of Oshitari who reached out just to do so and make a point.

"He did." Came the sultry response.

The company head frowned good-naturedly. "That's because Ryo was late and I saw him drinking _Ponta_, sporting a shorn head. I was surprised, so I missed returning Jirou's last shot." He said defensively, crossing his rams across his chest.

"Hah! I won that fair and square! I won! I won!" Chanted the gleeful Akutagawa.

"Don't be such a sore loser, Atobe." Taki Haginosuke sniggered after taking a sip of lemonade, speaking up from his comfortable position on the far end of the living room couch.

"Ugh. Fine, gang up on Ore-sama, you ingrates." Atobe retorted snappishly, sinking lower into his plush swivel chair. He observed them with amused eyes, a small smile turning his mouth upward slightly.

He delighted in small get-togethers like this. As of present, they were in the living room of the local celebrity violinist, Ohtori Choutarou, who became a good friend upon introduction from Shishido while in university. The same Ohtori who had been so shy and proper then but more open now, flushing from all the teasing Mukahi, who now transferred his attention to him, was doing.

They had come a long way, all of them, even Hiyoshi Wakashi, who had been one of his major adversaries in Hyoutei's Debate Society. They managed to set aside their differences to file a case against the dean of their college for sexual harassment of freshmen girls, thus forging a bond of admiration and respect between them. Now, he was Taki's partner in the fashion industry, owning several local boutiques that were steadily becoming household names.

But there was something missing.

Atobe could feel it, the emptiness inside. Even with all these amazing people, even with all his trusted circle of friends...

He had never felt so lonely.

**R.E.A.L.I.S.O.C.C.U.R.I.N.G**

It was one of Atobe's numerous purposes in life to make sure Akutagawa arrived home safely. Since his bodyguard and friend, Munehiro Kabaji had been relieved by his father of his duty and was flown reluctantly to Europe to reunite with his older sister; the other man had been his steady source of amusement. He saw him as something like a pet – something he and Fuji Syusuke agreed upon.

After all, he was only fully awake when working or among his entire group of close friends.

"You seem really worried about Akira-chan." He noted lightly, trying his best not to broach too deeply on the subject of the other's woes. Thankfully, Akutagawa gave him a weak smile and a nod, his eyes turning thoughtful.

"It seems as if she has this _special friend_ she talks to when Yumi and I are not around... and it bothers me." He admitted. This surprised Atobe. _A special friend? _He thought almost incredulously.

"Like an imaginary friend of sorts?"

"Yeah." The other man ran a hand through his dishevelled orange hair. "I think it's too early for her to go through something like that."

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh. It's common for kids between ages five to, say, nine... but she's only **_four_**, Keigo, four. Isn't that weird?"

Atobe raised a questioning brow. "I think it's weird that people have them at all. Isn't it better to have **_real_** friends?"

Akutagawa's smile waned some more. "Yes it is. But it's not only that that makes me uneasy – it's the fact that when she described her friend, she said he looked exactly like me."

"Interesting."

"Keigo, believe it or not, she even named him _**Jirou-papa**_."

**R.E.A.L.I.S.E.X.I.S.T.I.N.G**

A week passed and Atobe was neck-deep, once again, in paperwork. It took him exactly three days to finish the bulk of the month-end overflows.

On the final night of what he deemed as his last 'Moments of Torture', there was a storm brewing outside. For some strange reason, Atobe felt compelled to finish his paperwork. He credited it to his rush to free himself from the burden of his responsibilities as soon as possible to have some quality time for himself. _Ah, Ore-sama needs his beauty sleep..._ He thought in agony, stamping one of the documents in the now-dwindled pile situated angrily on his desk. _If I finish my work sooner, the sooner I could go off and take a nice, long vacation..._

**_CLINK_.**

At the sudden sound, Atobe's movements stilled, not daring to look up. He cursed himself for being such a coward at a time like this – if he didn't look up, he wouldn't see who the perpetrator was, the one who had so conveniently dared using the cup and saucer from his prized lacquered –

_Coffee set?_

Stunned at the sight of a steaming cup of coffee edging towards him carefully, he couldn't help but make a small noise of disbelief. He wasn't one to believe in ghosts, but seeing that he was the only one left and all his other employees on his floor were sent off home early because of the burgeoning storm, it wasn't hard to imagine. It wouldn't be logical either to hear something outside the office since it was built to be soundproof.

As the cup stood, stable on his desk, he decided it was high time he learned the identity of the one who had the audacity to disturb him while he was working. It was a nice gesture, but he was already on a roll and the sudden intrusion shattered his momentum. Besides, he wasn't about to let himself be taken hostage in his own seat. Brows knitting even more, he took a deep calming breath and looked up abruptly. "What are you –?"

His words, however, died in his throat as he set his eyes on someone he hadn't seen before. The man was standing before him; eyes staring calmly back at him. He seemed taller than him, probably a centimetre or so. He seemed really familiar, and Atobe wracked his brains for clues to his identity. The tasteful clothes rang a familiar bell in his head.

Lightning flashed, and the sudden shot of light that permeated through the window reflected on the spectacles the other sported.

And it was enough.

"Kunimitsu?" He asked suspiciously as the other continued gazing at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in Germany for further studies?"

"I came home this afternoon." Tezuka Kunimitsu answered readily, surely, nodding his head in emphasis, a small smile playing almost playfully on his lips.

"You're not supposed to be here." Atobe retorted eyeing him, weirded out by the fact that he came unannounced – and unnoticed.

"I came to visit. I'll be going off again at month-end."

"How did you get in?"

"..."

Atobe's brow twitched at the lack of answer. The implication of the other's silence was ridiculous. "Don't tell me you stole inside."

"While you were too busy to notice." Tezuka pushed a pair of shiny spectacles up, a habit, before nodding his head in a gesture of agreement. The company head was trying hard not to let the blush rise up to his cheeks in mortification.

"Do you always have to come unannounced?" He barked sullenly, trying not to sound childish but all to no avail.

"Yes."

Atobe's brow, once again, twitched in hidden irritation. "Why?"

"It's gratifying."

His brow twitched once again, eyes following Tezuka's progressive steps to where he was sitting. Even as irritation ran in his veins, he couldn't help feeling the rush of excitement that washed over him. "Is it now?"

He was right beside him now, leaning down, hand gripping the armrest of his corporate chair as a means of support. There was tenderness in those dark eyes, focusing on him that he couldn't breathe properly upon realisation. "You're challenging Ore-sama, Mitsu-chan. I hope you know what you're doing."

"Definitely."

Atobe's lips curled into a predatory grin. "Then you are bound to lose."

Tezuka's lips twitched once again in amusement, swooping down for a kiss.

"I can't be careless then..."

* * *

**TSUZUKU **

* * *

**A/N:** _This is a pretty complicated plot, which I hope I would pull off well. Feedbacks are greatly appreciated! _


	3. Part 02 : Living a Nonexistent Life

**TITLE:** Delusions

**PART:** Two of Three

**GENRE:** Yaoi (Alternate Universe/Psychological/Angst/Drama)

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**PAIRING:** Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu

**FANDOM: **Tennis no Oujisama

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the stuff, characters and series mentioned here, except this... (Piece of crap?) story. ;

**NOTE #1:** **Blah **or **_Blah _**is for emphasis. **_/Blah/_ **is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**PART TWO: LIVING A NONEXISTENT LIFE **

* * *

One of the rooms in Atobe Keigo's wing of the mansion was plain white. The walls were dull, drab and colourless – doing nothing but aggravate his need to get out and mingle. As lavish as the furnishings were, he couldn't discount the fact that his whole room seemed too contemporary, too futuristic – and almost clinical in nature. 

He wondered why his parents made him sleep in such surroundings one week every month. It didn't do well in maintaining his level of creativity. He had been subjected to this room since he graduated from the university. He couldn't even remember the exact time this routine started.

He closed his eyes, wondering at the sudden pain in his gut and the start of the dull throbbing in his temples. Both were things he was used to. Sighing, obviously bored, he opened them again and stared at the wall clock on the wall adjacent to his bed.

Seven o'clock.

It was already morning. In an hour and a half, he should be out there bossing people around.

A smug smile formed on his face. It would be very amusing to see the board and his underlings from Hyoutei Daigaku again. It would be fun bossing his secretary around and making the oldest members of his board of trustees all huffy... and the delight of seeing his stupid friend Sanada cower at the might of his tennis prowess. He was going to even out the score later in the afternoon. They were going to play tennis and he was going to win this time. After all, a person his stature shouldn't lose a match to the head of one of his company's suppliers – much more, score even with him. He was to be the better person! With almost childish glee, he hopped off his bed to prepare for another tiring day.

Oh, but there was a shiny part in his days until the rest of the month.

Tezuka Kunimitsu was back again, after all – all the more reason to go out and do something productive. He was sure to visit again tonight, most probably during the time when the influx of people in his office was minimal.

Besides, he needed to get out of there if he wanted to keep his sanity intact.

**R.E.A.L I.S D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E**

"Ha! Take that, Genichirou!" He called out from across the tennis court. His opponent, Sanada Genichirou, glared at the spot in which the ball landed with a hard 'thud!' The impact was so strong that it left a mark on the hard-packed clay court. He shook his head and fixed his look of disapproval on his face.

"That was too much." Sanada declared, shaking his head. "I was careless. Fine. You win – this time."

Atobe gave him a smug look and puffed up his chest, rubbing salt on his friend's 'Wounds of Defeat'. "I told you I've improved!"

"So I see." Sanada allowed, nodding once before towelling off his head. He was awashed with sweat, and much to his chagrin, Atobe looked so refreshed that he wanted to pour the contents of his water bottle on his head. He decided not to, or else, the same episode of past bickering would once again ensue.

He felt a pang in his chest. His best friend Yukimura Seiichi, who was out of the country permanently... and Tezuka Kunimitsu, often participated in tennis games like this. That was before, during their university years, the time before he went away to study in Germany. Now, almost five years had passed, and only the two of them, he and Atobe, were the ones left to continue –

Atobe poked him on the rib, and as a conditioned response, he growled, swatting the offending finger away. "Tezuka came by last night." He told Sanada. "From Germany." Atobe grinned coyly. "In a month, he didn't change much..."

The other man sat up straighter, alarm crossing his face. "Tezuka?" He asked cautiously, his look turning guarded, clenching the towel he pulled off his head in a sudden jolt of surprise.

"Aa." Atobe responded thoughtfully. "He's getting weirder and weirder recently. He just pops in and out of my office when people were scarce, and then, until everyone left, he would just sit in my office couch and read a sports magazine." He sniffed haughtily. "He's too quiet, and Ore-sama can't help but look at him all the time – it's as if he's seducing me or something! I swear – Ah, Genichirou?"

Sanada's lips were pulled to a thin line, and the corners of his mouth were white. "Atobe, when did he come back?" He asked slowly, hawk-like gaze boring into him. Atobe found it unusual, and for a moment, he felt afraid.

"Stop looking at me like that. You're bothering Ore-sama!" he declared, trying to gulp in his uneasiness. Then, with a dismissive wave of hand, he answered. "He came back just the other day."

The guarded look worsened, in his opinion. There was something really wrong with Sanada, Atobe thought, raising a brow in question.

"Keigo... you were sick the other day. My dad said you didn't go to work."

** R.E.A.L I.S E.X.A.C.T**

Atobe gritted his teeth as he strode back to his corporate office after his shower. He wasn't planning to do any work tonight; after all, he was tired. However, he couldn't shake off Sanada's words a couple of hours ago.

_Didn't go to work? _He thought incredulously. _I was swamped with work the other day! How could I have not been to work? I was dead tired that time and was exhausted after –_

Twin splotches of colour appeared on his cheeks and he willed them away.

His swivel chair creaked as he sat on it, and as a habit, he started twirling his pen around his fingers. It was stupid, what he was contemplating now. Sanada had to be wrong! He stared at his most prized picture framed on his table. It was of him and his friends taken back in senior high at Hyoutei Gakuen. Everyone seemed so happy then – even Tezuka was smiling a little as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

He couldn't seem to accurately remember everything that happened before graduation. All he knew was that he got sick, and Tezuka flew back to Germany to continue his studies, even sneaking into his room to inform him that at the end of the month – the next day – he was going to...

"Penny for your thoughts."

Atobe looked up in surprise and his face lit up as Tezuka sat on the edge of his table, twisting his body to face him, a small smile on his lips. "Make it a million yen." He fired back, leaning against the high back of his chair. "I didn't hear you come in. You're becoming better with your stealth, Mitsu-chan. Ore-sama is impressed"

"I came through the door, Keigo." The bespectacled man responded wryly, getting off his perch and moving on to the couch, motioning Atobe to follow, which he did as per usual, without any resistance. It was bad enough that they only saw each other during the last few days of every month. Until Tezuka finished his studies abroad, he would follow him like this – no questions asked.

After all, it wasn't as if he was not enjoying time spent with him.

"That's good." He allowed. "Outsiders might call the police on you when they see your figure climbing through my window. How in heaven's name do you do it anyway?"

"It's a secret."

"Right."

"What happened? You told me the other day that you're going to have a match with Genichirou this afternoon."

Atobe grinned in pride. "I finally trounced him." He revealed, earning a soft look from the other. "After all these years, the result wasn't a draw – I actually beat him. I really am the tennis master, am I not?"

Tezuka only nodded, gazing at him with affection visible on his face.

**_/"But you were sick the other day... you didn't go to work."/_**

Sanada's voice rang in his head once again. And he frowned, staring intently at Tezuka. "Oi, tell me... did we really see each other the day before yesterday?" Atobe's hands felt cold and clammy. He was nervous, yet he didn't understand why. It was as if he was expecting some sort of answer that would concretise something... something he didn't know what.

"You're becoming forgetful." Tezuka allowed, frowning a little at the unexpected question. "After everything that happened you still ask me that?"

It was as if the answer renewed Atobe's energy supply. With a smirk, he covered up his past uneasiness and moved closer to him, eyes gleaming with immodest intent.

"Maybe you could remind me what happened back then, _ahn_, Mitsu-chan?"

"You're such an animal, Keigo."

** R.E.A.L I.S N.O.T I.M.A.G.I.N.E.D**

He was in the white room again.

Atobe's eyes snapped fully open as he sat up, surveying his surroundings.

Tezuka carried him back after all that. He groaned, massaging his temple. He hated getting up on early mornings such as this. And his lover should carry him like some bride to his room way across the community. He wondered why he didn't wake up at the sudden motions that must've entailed. He hated the fact that the bespectacled man was supposed to be the _uke_ and yet, he was the one lugging his _seme_ around. He hoped no one saw or his reputation would be toast!

He shook his head. He had better prepare for work –

"Yo, Keigo."

It was Oshitari... without his overbearing **_wife_ **latched onto him.

_Heaven must be raining cows outside._ He snickered inwardly. _In fact, I think heaven is raining perverts outside – and Yuushi just happened to be one of them..._ "How did you get here? Wait... trouble in Paradise?"

Atobe gave him a knowing grin as the latter pulled a chair and sighed exhaustedly. "They let me in. And stop staring at me like I'm such a pervert, Atobe." He growled. "Gakuto didn't even come home with me."

"Because you were feeling him up before we went home just last week without his permission, I presume."

There was something in the Kansai-raised man's eyes that alarmed him, some sort of fleeting emotion that he couldn't place. He stared back at him, able to show that he hadn't noticed even if he had. "How did you know that... your mother called to tell us you were sick." Oshitari said lightly. "You were very preoccupied with something last week. What's that about by the way? You got problems?"

Atobe raised a brow. Now he was really alarmed. Oshitari Yuushi, Prodigy extraordinaire didn't get days and events mixed up. "That's preposterous. Ore-sama was there... even sent Jirou home."

Now Oshitari really looked worried. If the company heir didn't know better, he would say that he had the same look as Sanada's yesterday afternoon. "Whatever." He said dismissively, slumping down on the chair even more, eyes still glued to Atobe's face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Why do you people always ask me that?"

"What?"

"If I'm alright?"

Oshitari adjusted his glasses and was silent for a moment before giving him a sly smile. "You just look a bit rough around the edges, that is all."

"Ore-sama is perfect, you imbecile, stop saying bad words."

"Perfect."

"Exactly."

"Perfectly annoying."

** R.E.A.L I.S. V.I.S.I.B.L.E**

"Kunimitsu, do I look 'rough around the edges'?"

The man being questioned looked up at him in surprise before his features flattened out to that of reproach. "You always look out of the ordinary, but not that much." He answered curiously. "Why?"

He sighed, leaning back against the cushions even more. "Yuushi and the others have been asking me if I'm alright lately." He revealed contemplatively. "I think there may have been some sort of pattern in this, you know. After all, everything happens for a reason..."

"You lost me."

Atobe sighed, rolling his eyes as if Tezuka said the most stupid thing ever. "What I'm saying is that, people seem to think there's something wrong with me."

"There is always something wrong with you, Keigo."

He glared at him, crossing his arms across his chest in defiance. "Ore-sama is perfect."

Tezuka, after a few moments, gave in and smiled gently. "You are." He murmured indulgently. "But what makes you perfect?"

Atobe gave him an assured grin.

"Ore-sama only believes in things that are real."

* * *

**TSUZUKU**

* * *


	4. Part 03 : True Reality

**TITLE:** Delusions

**PART:** Three of Three

**GENRE:** Yaoi (Alternate Universe/Psychological/Angst/Drama)

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**PAIRING:** Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu

**FANDOM: **Tennis no Oujisama

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the stuff, characters and series mentioned here, except this... (Piece of crap?) story. ;

**NOTE #1:** **Blah **or **_Blah _**is for emphasis. **_/Blah/_ **is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**PART THREE: TRUE REALITY  
**

* * *

It was the final day of the month, and Sanada was sitting in his office with a stack of paperwork waiting for him when a sudden knock jolted him out of his thoughts. Pressing the buzzer for the automated door to open, he straightened his tie and composed himself.

"Genichirou."

It was Oshitari.

"Yuushi." He nodded, motioning for him to sit down, which, he readily complied to. "Would you care for some coffee or tea?"

The bespectacled man shook his head. "No thanks." He responded heavily. It was then that Sanada felt something was bothering the other man, and was going to talk about it with him. His intuition had never been wrong... and he knew Oshitari's was almost never wrong as well.

_I have a feeling it's because of –_

"I'm worried about Keigo."

_Keigo. _Sanada took a deep breath. "I am too."

Oshitari fidgeted in his seat. If it were an ordinary day, it would have given him much amusement. But it wasn't – just like every day of the last week of every month since university graduation was not. It had been years, but the problem they thought would fade after some time, hadn't lightened up. Instead, it worsened.

"We shouldn't have told him the truth."

Sanada had to agree. It was one of the worst things he had ever done in his life, and he was sure all of the others felt the same way about themselves too. "If the Tezuka family didn't push him to an arranged marriage, this wouldn't have happened. They are all to blame."

"But it's understandable, Genichirou." Oshitari responded pensively. "They are bound to tradition, since they are an old clan."

"Keigo and Kunimitsu suffered a lot because of their decision, and look what happened."

"They suffered as well."

"In theory." Sanada declared, suddenly incensed.

Oshitari took off his glasses and slipped them in his coat pocket. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he let out his bated breath and made a small noise of distress. "You're making things worse." He muttered reproachfully. "They already offered their deepest apologies."

"You're taking their side."

"No I'm not."

"Then why are you being so..."

"I'm just saying that we shouldn't blame anyone. It was normal for them to do that, take Tezuka away. Keigo's family had just been too open when it comes to sexuality."

The other man's words sunk into Sanada and he placed his chin on his interlinked fingers, deep in thought. Finally, he let go and straightened up. "You're right." He started. "But I'm still worried... Keigo... it's just like before..."

"Yeah, unfortunately. It has been a year now... it seems as if he's clinging to Tezuka or something." Oshitari said after taking a deep cleansing breath. "His parents are expressing their concerns. His situation is worsening. I've been noticing that a lot too."

"I don't think everything would go back the way it was until things are settled between those two... but I don't think that's possible anymore." Sanada allowed. "And we can't hold out forever if every month he relives his last moments with Kunimitsu."

"He's on medication since graduation."

"Then the doctors should increase the dosage."

"That's going to kill him, idiot."

There was a long moment of silence before Sanada spoke. "Then we don't have any other choice but to stick with the routine... and hope we would do a better job of making him realise he's still in a dream..."

Oshitari turned away and nodded unhappily.

**R.E.A.L. I.S. T.A.N.G.I.B.L.E.**

"You think they would be happy to see you?" Atobe asked as he picked up the phone. As he dialled, he snuck a glance at the bespectacled man and grinned slyly. "They would go crazy once they see you – then they'd know I'm not playing with them about you being here."

Tezuka, in turn, gave him a small smile before turning back to his newspaper. "Mitsu-chan, why are you still reading that? It's dated years ago! I have newer ones downstairs, in the living room!"

"This is today's newspaper, Keigo – and don't call me that."

Atobe rolled his eyes before focusing on his impending talk with –

"S & Co., this is Oshitari Yuushi speaking, how may I help you?"

Atobe's eyes bulged in surprise. "Yuushi?" He began incredulously. "What are you doing there?"

"Keigo." Oshitari answered, his tone a bit edgy. "You want to talk to Genichirou, right? I'll just call him... for a while..."

As soon as Sanada was on the phone, Atobe began his barrage of questions. "You two are keeping something from Ore-sama, aren't you, ahn?" He asked lightly. "Does Mukahi-kun know about your little episodes in there?"

As predicted, Sanada growled. "Keigo, damn you, we're not doing anything! We're just talking!"

"Talking about what, **_ahn_**?"

There was a slight pause. If it was any other day, it might've been nothing. However, Atobe couldn't dispel the feeling of something resembling dread as he waited for his friend's answer. For a split second, he thought he heard an inner voice say they were talking about him. But that was stupid, why would they talk about him? Ore-sama was popular, but it was pointless to talk about him and his current love life, not when it wasn't anything new to them, right?

"We're gonna have a tennis game tonight." Sanada finally allowed.

As he started another round of teasing, there was another twist in Atobe's gut. _There isn't any reason to doubt him, is there? But why is it that I feel like he's not telling the truth?_

**R.E.A.L. I.S K.N.O.W.N.**

By the time he finished talking to Sanada over the phone, Tezuka was gone. Confused, he looked around.

"Mitsu-chan? Where are you?"

"I'm right here, Keigo."

_Here? _Atobe stood in the middle of the room, a sudden cold seeping into his bones. Even with Tezuka answering...

He couldn't see him.

**R.E.A.L. I.S. T.R.U.E.**

"Any news on Tezuka, Genichirou?"

_Why did he have to bring this up again... right after I just talked to Keigo... _Sanada sighed and banged his head on his table. "No. And I don't want to talk to those accursed parents of his. If his grandfather is alive, he wouldn't have to suffer like this – Keigo too."

"I know." Oshitari sighed. "I hope his own medication is working. His depression almost made him kill himself back then."

"Do you think he's on the same boat Keigo is?"

Sanada nodded. "Most probably." He acknowledged. "He loved him just as much and forcing him to marry some girl he doesn't know is another reason why he must be experiencing the same thing."

"If things were different, they wouldn't have to attempt a double suicide after our graduation ceremony. Now, Kunimitsu might still be studying in Germany and Keigo a successful CEO."

He nodded imperceptively. "Sometimes I wish they didn't get to know each other better, that they were better off established as rivals..."

"If only we knew things would turn out like this..."

"But we didn't." The former Rikkai student grated out. "Now Kunimitsu is on the verge of madness and Keigo is living a life that doesn't even exist. He calls me almost every night to tell me stories and escapades, his time spent signing papers in his own office, his celebratory parties with you and your other Hyoutei friends... and then what clinched it was the one when he said he finally beat me in a tennis game and told Tezuka about it. If I had any more tears to shed over their plight, I would have cried right then and there!" He groaned in frustration. His normally stern disposition dissolving to that of agony as he recalled all time spent listening to his friend.

"But we really can't do anything, Genichirou." Oshitari sighed sadly. "All we can do is sit still, watch and wait."

**R.E.A.L. I.S. T.A.N.G.I.B.L.E.**

Atobe ran.

He could feel his clothes billowing as he dashed away from the confines of his office but he didn't care. All he wanted was reprieve. He was panicky at most and a voice was still whispering in his ear. For whatever peculiar reason, he followed the instructions given and soon enough, he was outside, scratched, but otherwise free to go about and search for answers.

"Be careful, Keigo, you might fall."

He could hear Tezuka, he could still hear him answer his every call... but why wasn't he able to see him at all? A semblance of peace ran through him as he saw the familiar building, which was what his destination was. But soon enough, the dread returned as the dearly familiar voice reached his ears once more, telling him it was futile to ask for help...

"There's nothing they can help you with, I'll always be here, why are you running away?"

With hurried steps, Atobe clambered straight to where he knew Sanada and Oshitari were. "S & Co., second floor..." He muttered to himself, feeling a bit better now that he was in front of the office door. With decisive motions, he knocked; panic seeping into his movements.

"You'll skin your knuckles, Keigo..."

There it was again, Tezuka's chastising voice. But he couldn't see him. He was physically unavailable, so why? He was hearing things again! That must be it!

When the door opened, Atobe flung himself into the room, eliciting a surprised sound from the one who opened it.

"Yuushi!" Atobe cried out in relief upon seeing the familiar face.

"Keigo? What the hell are you doing here? Genichirou, Keigo's –" Oshitari called out in panic.

"Keigo? What are you doing here?" Sanada growled, bounding over to the panicked pair.

The sound of Sanada's voice did little to ease Atobe's anxiety, instead, it added to it. It was perhaps the disbelief and open dislike for his presence that was the key. But it didn't matter now, he had to tell them what was happening – maybe they could help him! Tezuka may be in trouble and he, Atobe Keigo, his own lover just didn't know it!

"Genichirou, remember during our tennis game, I told you that Kunimitsu came back?" He asked wildly, noting in passing that the two men were staring at him in absolute discomfort. "Well, he just disappeared right after I called you a while ago! Do you have any idea where he may have been?"

"Keigo..." Sanada began, but was soon cut off as Atobe plowed on.

"But listen to this, even if he's not with me, I can still hear him... like he's still around!"

There was a long moment of silence before Oshitari finally spoke.

"Genichirou, call Keigo's parents, tell them he got out of the mansion again."

**R.E.A.L. I.S. R.E.A.L.**

He was in the white room.

He was in the white room he detested with all his heart.

He didn't open his eyes... He didn't want to... but he could hear them... just as he heard Tezuka's voice whispering close to his ear, reassuring him that everything was going to be alright.

"We have no idea how he got out ma'am,"

"I thought the fences are wired?"

"Well sir, Atobe-bouchan went through the servants' quarters and we couldn't just wire that area since the household help goes in and out that way..."

"Ah, I see. Then we must make extra precautions to make sure he doesn't stray out the mansion anymore."

"This is all the Tezuka family's fault... my poor Kei-chan..."

Atobe wanted to shut his system down so he could stop hearing them talk. They made him seem crazy... like he was some animal they kept in a gilded cage!

"Then why don't you come with me then, Keigo?"

He flinched in surprise and his eyes snapped open. A whisper of a touch ran through his cheek, and a small smile flitted across his lips. "Mitsu-chan. I thought you left me. How you seduce Ore-sama so..." He murmured almost inaudibly. "Of course I'd go with you... just don't leave me again like you did this afternoon..."

And Tezuka smiled down at him, caressing his face some more before leaning close to kiss him. And as he felt the warmth of those familiar lips press down on his own, everything around him fell silent.

"Let's leave him alone to rest for awhile... Come, Sanada-kun, Yuushi-kun."

Atobe didn't even hear them.

He simply didn't need to.

* * *

**ENDE  
**

* * *


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